Looks can be deceiving...

Recently I posted a family photo on social media after we had spent the day out together. A few days later as I scrolled through the comments, someone had written, ‘You look so peaceful’.

My immediate response was, ‘looks can be deceiving!’

I was surprised at the intensity of the emotions I felt after reading that comment.

As I looked at the photo again I began to realise that it’s probably true - I did look peaceful in the photo. But if you were to look beyond the image, you might see something different. The peace that is reflected in my face has been a choice I’ve made while navigating one of the hardest seasons of my life.

In an age where social media takes centre stage, we have become so good at building an alternate reality of our lives. We can ‘filter’ what people see and give the impression that we have it all together when in truth we are sometimes struggling to make it through a day. ‘Real’ doesn’t seem to exist anymore. It’s scary, it’s not cool, it requires empathy and genuine care and interest in people.

As I watched and read about how the world responded to the death of Stephen Boss (also know as tWitch from the Ellen show), I was reminded that we have become experts at creating a ‘brand’ of ourselves that can often be the opposite to reality. We follow what’s popular, we covet validation and spend our time checking how many people have ‘liked’ our post or watched our reels.

The older I get the more 'real' I want to become. Why? Because life is hard! Because we were never created to live this life on our own. Because if I can be real, maybe someone else can learn that life, no matter how hard, is worth living and you can keep going!

During the hardest seasons of my life when my faith has been challenged I have raged at God.

‘Why is this happening to me?’ ‘Where are you in this situation?’

I feel like I’m living out one of the Psalms where David is angry with God and letting him know it but by the end of the chapter, David is acknowledging who God is and being reminded that He is trustworthy.

God is big enough to deal with my doubts and my struggles!

In the New Testament, Jesus made a point to seek out ‘real’ people. He found Zacchaeus, who had climbed a tree to see Jesus, and invited himself to lunch at his house. He made time to talk to the woman at the well who was living a life that was shameful in that culture. Jesus sought out the woman who touched the hem of his coat and was healed while being surrounded by thousands of people. He looked beyond their exterior and saw the real person.

I wonder what our world would look like if we removed the filters we applied to our lives and embraced ‘real’? What if we were motivate by empathy and genuine care and looked beyond other people's 'filters'? We don’t have to have all the answers - it’s enough to say ‘I’m here for you. I’ll listen if you need to talk, I’ll sit with you if you need company.’

Are we willing to do whatever it takes to remind people that they matter no matter what?

This year I want to be present and intentional in my words and actions. I want to make sure that the people in my world know they matter to me as often as possible. My job is not to ‘fix’ people but to love them! Actions speak louder than words.

Can I encourage/challenge you the next time you like a picture on social media, use it as a reminder to check in and say hi to that person. Perhaps you can send them a text or give them a call to remind them they matter to you.

The outcome could change someone’s world for the better!